Contents
What is abstinence
Sexual abstinence simply means no sexual contact or not having sex and refraining from sexual intercourse. A person who decides to practice abstinence has decided not to have sex or any type of intimate sexual contact. Because you’re not having any sexual contact, abstinence is 100 percent effective without any side effects. Some sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) spread through oral–genital sex, anal sex, or even intimate skin-to-skin contact without actual penetration (genital warts and herpes can be spread this way). So only avoiding all types of intimate genital contact — including anal sex and oral sex — can prevent sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). This is called complete abstinence. Abstinence is easy to do as no action is required, but practicing abstinence does take willpower. You may want to have a back-up birth control method, such as condoms. To be effective, any method of contraception must be used consistently and correctly.
The cons of abstinence:
Requires willpower and discipline
How does abstinence work?
Abstinence is the most effective form of birth control. Abstinence prevents pregnancy because sexual intercourse does not take place. Abstinence involves refraining from any activity that leads to an exchange of body fluids. Periodic abstinence is often used by couples who are practicing the fertility awareness method of birth control as a means of preventing pregnancy during the fertile period of a woman’s cycle.
Effects of abstinence on females
If a man and a woman don’t have sex, then sperm can’t fertilize an egg and there’s no possibility of a pregnancy. Some forms of birth control depend on barriers that prevent the sperm from reaching the egg (such as condoms or diaphragms). Others interfere with the menstrual cycle (as birth control pills do). With abstinence, no barriers or pills are necessary because the person is not being sexually intimate with others.
You don’t have to be a virgin to practice abstinence. Sometimes people who have been having sex decide not to continue having sex. Even someone who has been having sex can still choose abstinence to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) in the future.
Effects of abstinence on males
None. For most people, abstinence is the absence of sexual contact altogether. It is the healthiest way to avoid pregnancy and more importantly, the best way to avoid contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STI).
Benefits of abstinence
Abstinence means you don’t have sex at all. The advantages of abstinence are:
- 0 percent chance of getting pregnant
- Free
- Protects you from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) including HIV
- Has no side effects or health risks
- You don’t have to go to a doctor or clinic
- You don’t need to buy devices or remember to take anything
- Abstinence allows your relationship to grow without the pressures having sex can bring
- Reduces emotional and psychological challenges related to relationships that involve sexual activity
Abstinence facts
Research suggests that 95% of Americans have participated in premarital sex 1. A recent study was conducted with teens who made a public pledge to abstain until marriage. The study followed up with the youth again six years after they made their pledge and found that over 60% had broken their vow to remain abstinent until marriage. The study also found that while the teens who took virginity pledges begin engaging in vaginal intercourse later than non-pledging teens, those same pledgers were more likely to engage in oral or anal sex than non-pledging teens. Most importantly, these pledgers were less likely to use condoms once they became sexually active. The study found that pledgers were less likely than non-pledgers to use contraception the first time they had sex and also were less likely than other teens to have undergone sexually transmitted disease (STD) testing and to know their sexually transmitted disease (STD) status. As a result, the sexually transmitted disease (STD) rates between pledgers and non-pledgers were statistically similar 2. These studies help conclude that abstinence from sex until marriage is an unrealistic expectation for the youth of America.
- About three out of 10 young women become pregnant at least once before they reach the age of 17, approximately 750,000 per year.
- 25% of teen females and 18% of teen males did not use contraception the first time they had intercourse.
- The interval between the time an adolescent female starts sexual activity and seeks health care services is approximately a year.
- About 20% of adolescent pregnancies occur within one month of the beginning of sexual activity, and 50% occur within six months.
- An estimated half of all new HIV infections occur in people under age 25.
- Even though they only represent 25 percent of the sexually active population, 15 to 24 year olds acquire nearly one-half of all new sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) 3.
There has been a decrease in adolescent pregnancy that can be almost entirely attributed to improved contraceptive use. There has been an 84% decline in teen pregnancy since 1995 and the rates are lower than they have been in 65 years. Even still, United States leads all developed nations in teenage birth rate 4.
How can I be successful at abstinence?
Abstinence is most successful when you are diligent and use planning within your relationships.
To make it easier, try some of the following ideas:
- Do things with friends or in groups
- Go on double dates
- Minimize physical affection that could lead to passion and desire, making it harder to abstain from sexual intercourse
- Avoid situations where you are alone
What about teenagers and abstinence?
Relationships that involve sexual intercourse are filled with physical, emotional, and psychological risks. Abstinence provides teenagers the opportunity to avoid those risks. Individuals who abstain from sexual intercourse during their teenage years tend to have fewer sexual partners in their future.
Remaining abstinent as a teenager means that you will be less likely to:
- Contract a sexually transmitted disease, which may also lead to infertility
- Develop cancer of the cervix
- Experience an unplanned pregnancy
How can my partner get to know me?
Sexual intercourse is not the only way two people can get to know each other. Too often, people open this door for drawing closer to one another only to regret the decision later, because they did not really know each other at all.
Intimacy can be developed through a variety of means such as:
- Talking and listening
- Sharing joys, hurts, dreams, goals, wishes and other aspects of life
- Honesty and respect for one another
- Having fun and playing together
Why should someone choose abstinence?
Abstinence is chosen by women and men for a number of reasons. If you are a teenager, it is the best way to avoid being a pregnant teen or getting an STD.
Some of the reasons people choose abstinence are noted below:
- Honor of personal, moral, or religious beliefs
- Wait until they are married and in a monogamous and committed relationship
- Pursue school, career, and other activities
- To avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases
How can I express my affection?
Intimacy and affection can be expressed in a number of ways other than sexual intercourse. Kissing, hugging, massaging, and holding hands are some of the ways that couples express their affection in a physical manner. Intimacy and affection can also be expressed in other ways such as:
- Conversations
- Cards, letters, and love notes
- Support in your partner’s activities
- Creative and fun dating
- The caution with any physical affection is that it can lead to passion and a desire for something more.
How well does abstinence work?
Abstinence is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy if used correctly and consistently. Abstinence prevents the transmission of sexually transmitted infections 100% of the time when practiced appropriately and consistently. Although many birth control methods can have high rates of success if used properly, they can fail occasionally. Practicing abstinence ensures that a girl won’t become pregnant because there’s no opportunity for sperm to fertilize an egg.
Table 1. Types of birth control comparison
| Method | Number of pregnancies per 100 women within their first year of typical use1 | Side effects and risks* *These are not all of the possible side effects and risks. Talk to your doctor or nurse for more information. | How often you have to take or use |
|---|---|---|---|
| Abstinence (no sexual contact) | Unknown (0 for perfect use) | No medical side effects | No action required, but it does take willpower. You may want to have a back-up birth control method, such as condoms. |
| Permanent sterilization surgery for women (tubal ligation, “getting your tubes tied”) | Less than 1 |
| No action required after surgery |
| Permanent sterilization implant for women (Essure®) | Less than 1 |
| No action required after surgery |
| Permanent sterilization surgery for men (vasectomy) | Less than 1 |
| No action required after surgery |
| Implantable rod (Implanon®, Nexplanon®) | Less than 1 |
| No action required for up to 3 years before removing or replacing |
| Copper intrauterine device (IUD) (ParaGard®) | Less than 1 |
| No action required for up to 10 years before removing or replacing |
| Hormonal intrauterine devices (IUDs) (Liletta, Mirena®, and Skyla®) | Less than 1 |
| No action required for 3 to 5 years, depending on the brand, before removing or replacing |
| Shot/injection (Depo-Provera®) | 6 |
| Get a new shot every 3 months |
| Oral contraceptives, combination hormones (“the pill”) | 9 |
| Take at the same time every day |
| Oral contraceptives, progestin-only pill (“mini-pill”) | 9 |
| Take at the same time every day |
| Skin patch (Xulane®) | 9 May be less effective in women weighing 198 pounds or more2 |
| Wear for 21 days, remove for 7 days, replace with a new patch |
| Vaginal ring (NuvaRing®) | 9 |
| Wear for 21 days, remove for 7 days, replace with a new ring |
| Diaphragm with spermicide (Koromex®, Ortho-Diaphragm®) | 12 If you gain or lose than 15 pounds, or have a baby, have your doctor check you to make sure the diaphragm still fits. |
| Insert each time you have sex |
| Sponge with spermicide (Today Sponge®) | 12 (among women who have never given birth before) or 24 (among women who have given birth)3 |
| Insert each time you have sex |
| Cervical cap with spermicide (FemCap®) | 23 |
| Insert each time you have sex |
| Male condom | 18 |
| Use each time you have sex |
| Female condom | 21 |
| Use each time you have sex |
| Withdrawal — when a man takes his penis out of a woman’s vagina (or “pulls out”) before he ejaculates (has an orgasm or “comes”) | 22 |
| Use each time you have sex |
| Natural family planning (rhythm method) | 24 |
| Depending on method used, takes planning each month |
| Spermicide alone | 28 Works best if used along with a barrier method, such as a diaphragm |
| Use each time you have sex |
Protection Against STDs
Abstinence protects people against STDs. Some sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) spread through oral–genital sex, anal sex, or even intimate skin-to-skin contact without actual penetration (genital warts and herpes can be spread this way). So only avoiding all types of intimate genital contact — including anal sex and oral sex — can prevent STDs. This is called complete abstinence.
Consistent abstinence means that someone practices abstinence all the time. Having sex even once means that the person risks getting an infection.
Only complete and consistent abstinence can totally prevent pregnancy and protect against sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Because a person does not have any type of intimate sexual contact when he or she practices complete and consistent abstinence, there is no risk of passing on a sexually transmitted infection.
Abstinence does not prevent AIDS, hepatitis B, and hepatitis C infections that come from nonsexual activities, like using contaminated needles for doing drugs, tattooing, or injecting steroids.
Practicing abstinence
Not having sex may seem easy because it’s not doing anything. But peer pressure and things you see on TV and in the movies can make the decision to practice abstinence more difficult.
If it seems like everybody else is having sex, some people may feel they have to do it, too, just to be accepted. Don’t let kidding or pressure from friends, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, or even the media push you into something that’s not right for you. The truth is that most teens are not having sex.
A couple can still have a relationship without having sex. If you’ve made a decision not to have sex, it’s an important personal choice and the people who care about you should respect that.
You may have questions about making this choice or about other methods of birth control. Your doctor or nurse — or an adult you trust, such as a parent, teacher, or counselor — can help provide some answers.
Abstinence side effects
There are no side effects or health risks related to abstinence.
- Finer L. Trends in premarital sex in the United States, 1954-2003. Public Health Reports, 2007; 23: 73.[↩]
- Bearman PS, Brückner H. Promising the future: virginity pledges and first intercourse. American Journal of Sociology 2001; 106:859-912.[↩]
- Guttmacher Institute. U.S. Teenage Pregnancy Statistics: National and State Trends and Trends by Race and Ethnicity. New York: Author, 2006[↩]
- Hamilton BE et al. Births, preliminary data for 2005. National Vital Statistics Report 2007; 55.[↩]
